Jayne was one of the most self-centered, arrogant, crass people I hve ever encountered. She could not open her mouth without her high-pitched, whiny voice grating on every last nerve in my body. She spoke in a pitch worse than fingernails being drawn down a chalkboard. It made every hair on the top of my head stand on end every time she spoke.

I first encountered Jayne while waiting in line at Starbucks for my usual Monday morning pick me up nonfat double soy latté. She was yapping loudly on her cell phone oblivious of the fact that the fifteen other people in the store where shooting her looks of death. By the time I had cycled through the line, ordered and gathered for my drink – five minutes, tops – I knew every detail of Jayne’s weekend, including the fact that she had hot sex with some guy she picked up at a club Friday night. And now she can’t even remember his name.

I couldn’t get out of there fast enough.

I was running a little late, rushed into my building and into the elevator about five minutes after nine. Safely inside the elevator I knew I was home free and I punched the button to the fifth floor. The elevator doors were almost closed when I saw a two well manicured fingers appear through the narrowing crack between the doors and heard a voice yell “Wait! Hold the door! I’m late!”

I hate sharing elevators. I always know I will have a good day when I enter the elevator and realize I have the whole thing to myself. Annoyed, I pushed the door open button on the elevator and silently wondered why that voice sounded vaguely familiar.

Two seconds later the elevator doors were completely open and there stood Jayne holding a venti cup of coffee, cell phone still glued to the side of her head. Just when I thought I was going to have a good day, my hopes were dashed into the river of despair.

Oh, well, it is just a short ride and then I will be through with this annoyance and waste of breath once and for all. The doors opened on the fifth floor, and I took a deep breath, refocused, and vowed to get my week off to a good start – once again. I rushed out of the elevator and down the hall where I closed the door to my office behind me. I could still hear that voice yammering in my head. Where was it coming from? What a dreadful woman.

No sooner had I taken off my coat, dropped my briefcase, and turned on my computer, than I heard a knock on my door, shortly followed by the entrance of the company’s human resources manager smiling broadly and exclaiming,

“Meet your new assistant – Jayne!”