The biggest problem I have with myself is finding “my” place in the world. I don’t know where I fit in. All I know is that I’m not quite comfortable in my skin where I am now. I know there is something out there for me, I just do not know where it is or what it is. I am looking for confidence, strength, faith, security and serenity. I also know that God fits into my life somewhere, but I am trying to discern where. I feel like there are so many unanswered questions about where I fit in and where I will end up that I feel overwhelmed much of the time. The world is so big that I wonder how I will find my way.

I am a strong believer in fate and in destiny. I believe that everything happens for a reason. I also believe that my fate is predestined by some force out there, possibly by God, possibly something else. I am also a big believer in gut feelings. I have always had a very strong sixth sense of intuition. But all of these feelings and intuition do not give me concrete proof of where I will end up or of which direction to take when my life comes to a split. None of it is real and tangible.

Just living, going with the flow, is the thing that I find the most difficult. Every moment in my life is orchestrated before I do it. I plan everything, minutes, days, weeks and even months ahead of time. For me, this is reality. Just letting life flow by me like a river? Impossible. My brain just doesn't function like that.